its gonna be me??

haha..addicted dgn blog nmpk gayanya ni.But somehow,ok la.Release sikit segala ketensenan kat dlm pale ni.

Finally,my ex accept the decision of changing the love to friendship.After an hour of crying and begging session.I cant help myself,I might be strong when i am not with him.But whenever he's around,i will burst out.

So yesterday,i woke up early.Around 10.Then at 2pm.I decided to go to office and print out sum stuff.But the internet was so slow,i cudnt do anything.At 4pm,Fazrozen called and said he's at my apartment.Emm.ok..So i went out wit him.And talked.

I asked him what is about her that he craze about,but dgn slamber nye dia menjawab,tak suke pun,layan je.Dush!Itu lagi sakit hati.Tapi yg lebih sakit hati is,pemahaman tentang org sekeliling about wat happen between us.

I dont have problems with my side,everybody knew how bad he had been before.But from his side.Sume org mcm salah kan aku.They said aku yg cemburu tak tentu pasal,cemburu buta,terburu-buru.I feel like i want to shout and said,do you know what he had done?He betrayed the relationship,cheating and unfaithful and you guys still wants to defend him?How bout me?Dont i have any rights?Dont i have any feelings?Tak boleh ke aku nak menegakkan diri sendiri?Aku sgt terasa.And secara tak sengaja aku tertahu yang mak dia tak berkenan dgn dressing aku walaupun dia rasa aku ni agak rajin.Tezz..jem gile.Bukan nak mengata,tapi tak baik tau kata anak org.nak berkenan tak berkenan.Mak aku tak penah pun cakap bende tak baik pasal anak dia.Walaupun mak aku tau anak mak cik faridah tu macam mana.tapi dia takpernah pun nak ckp tak berkenan ke apa apa ke.Masa mula2 kenal dulu tu lain la.Kan aku da terlaser kat dia,mak u tu nak cakap anak org,dia tau tak anak dia macam mana.Tapi when i think about it,dia dari Palong.A bit kampung.so cara pemikiran lain kot.Mak aku sama je mcm aku,wont care and bother much about others.Lantak korg la.

He stay at my place until morning.We did a lots of talking.He cooked maggi for me.Packed my stuff and luggage to penang(i was sleeping).And dia kemas bilik aku juga yer.Ala baik nya.Hmm.

But persetujuan untuk berkawan sahaja tu betul betul melegakan aku.I cant stand him begging for me to accept him anymore.And aku ingat aku kuat.Tapi aku salah.Aku slalu je bersedih sbnarnya.Tapi kontrol.Taknak org tau.Hope i will get better soon.I also told him that i am so glad i have lots of work to do,so i wont be thinking about him and our problem so much.He dont like that idea.Of course he dont,that is almost means that i dont want to think about him.

For now,aku harap sume akan bertambah lebih baik.I dont want to be sad and jadi gile sbb bende ni.And semoga sepanjang ke beradaan aku di Penang ni mampu membantu.