The end.

It must have been love, but its over now...

It must have been good,

But i lost it somehow..

I am now listening to Roxette,it must have been love. Filling with tears, in my room.

24 hours ago, i had change my status to single.Yes, i broke up with my 4 years bf. After a long time of misery,headaches but yet full of love,i finally made up my mind.

There is no more Miss venill and mr fazrozen.

Many people was surprised, because i used to survive through all the pain that caused by him.Especially his friends. Well i guess not anymore. I had enuff. I've been patience and believe that love conquer all. And now,because i love him so much, i decided to let him go and be free. It was a bit painful,of course.

The main reason, he being so helpful to help hi ex scandal when she want to watch the game,and they had dinner,and he lied. He is stupid by thinking there's no one will see and tell me about it.

2hrs before that, we were planning about seeing each other today because he miss me so muc. But later, i got the bad news. Once i had confirmed the things, i gave him a call and asked him few questions before i said, "ITS OVER SAYANG." At first he said I'm crazy and doing stupid decisions because he didn't do anything wrong(of course he wont admit). But i keep saying things like "i don't care if you want to tell the whole world that I'm accusing w/o proof,but i knew deep inside u,u knew that u r the main reason y i choose to leave u". And i am very firm this time. That is when he start to cuak.

1am, he arrived at Sri Warisan. We discuss and talked until 7, and i didn't change my mind.He need to learn that not everything can be simply be taken care of. My Fazrozen, he always hold on to this thought, lying to me so that we wont get into fight, or lying because he scared of me. And I've told him many times, be honest and tell the truth. But he wont listen. So this time, i decided to teach him a lesson.

I don't know how to react actually. I was hurt for what he had done, but in the same time, i dont know whether I'm sad, or I'm fine. I don't feel like crying. But i did cried when we were in Sri Warisan. He kissed my hand, my cheek, my lips, my forehead and even my foot like there is no tomorrow. Well,of course, there is no tomorrow of US. He hugged me and keep saying he dont want to lose me,which i said,its too late. He cried and forgot that he is a guy. He should thought about this before he did all the stupid things. I know, he is very comfortable with the situation of me not leaving him all this while after whatever he did. But he forgot, that i gave up to him, and he forgot a stupid mistake can cause him, losing me. He forgot that he had hurt me too much and its over my limit of patience.

Today, he still text me and said how much he love me and theres no one else but me. I've been telling myself to be strong. He also explaining that theres nothing between him and that girl. And surprisingly, he admit that this is all his fault.

Of course i'm sad. Its love. For 4 years i've been loving him and whatever happen last year make us stronger. Even tho i keep saying that he is stupid, but deep in my heart, my love for him has no boundaries.

Just now, he called and said he miss me n he love me, and he will be leaving to penang. For me, everything is like three hours late.

And now, i hav to admit, i am sad, broken hearted, lost, alone, empty, getting crazy and started crying over the break up. And as always, lots of no answer questions in my mind.

To top all that, i miss him, hate to love him, crying over him, but still not changing my mind. And cudt wait to get the office so that i can do my things and not weeping.

It will be the hardest moment in my life. And i am ... in pain.