wat a cold morning.

with my cold heart as always. Sometimes i've been askin myself why do i have to feels this way. Why aku selalu ignoring things, neglecting people, and being complicated days by days. Why cant i just let it be? Why i cant make things less messy and make a smooth run? Hmm. But i believe that is just me. Sesuatu yang differentiate me and the rest of the girls in the world.

I do feels that i've been less complicated. That is what i thought lah.

Expectations. I woke up this morning with a very strange feeling this morning. Of course lah. Its 5.30 am and i am full awake. OMG. bukak tv and tgk Dom. Damn he's hot.

Hmm. Expectations. Aku salu pk yang aku tak dpt bf until now because i've been too choosy. Too fussy. But one person told me once, 'you will never get what you want, so why dont you start looking for what you need'..

I was stunned. And i do put some thought on that statement. But last2, aku tak buat apa apa pun. I decided to put every focus on my job. Because 18hrs after that I realize that I should start building my career and kumpul assets. Love comes and go baby. I had all the best people around me who had been supporting me through thick and thin. Maybe i should just appreciate that.

And since that on aku dah tak pk benda lain selain kerja. Kerja dan facebook.

Without realizing that I'm letting everyone down..and they had to let me go again.

Aku pernah menghabiskan masa 3hr di opis. Been not sleeping for more than 24hrs. And sumenye berbaloi. I've been promoted. But do i had enuf? of course not. Lots of things comes into my mind. i realize i need to do sumthing as back up. So i decided to find the opportunity in business. N then mummy came in and said, wani..u shud buy a house. Owh shit!

So aku pun terus membuat resume n hantar ke Telekom Malaysia. Mungkin not wat i wanted, but being me..as long as it worth it. So it is worth trying.

Apa saja yang Cik Jenab akan masuk kepala sekarang. Eventho sumtimes tak masuk akal. But, who else that i wud listen if its not her.

I'm still looking..or searching for the right path... Something that cud give me at least a bit of warmth in my heart. Its been cold for almost a year now. I gave up on love. Except for the love on my werks.

Apa la crap yang aku tulis kan. Tapi. That is what i felt di pg yg sejuk ni.

Ada pelbagai perasaan yang bercampur. Happy, emo, bahagia, serabut.

And now.. for everything that i've chased..the price that i have to pay.. Losing my only best-friend because he already hates me.

hmm.

I'm sorry baby.. I don't mean too.