Update Update.

Hello people....

Lama gila tak update. Sbb banyak sangat benda berlaku sampaikan rasa cam malas nak update. Sibuk dengan keje, dan juga sibuk buat buat sibuk. Hehe. Last aku update is bulan 8 di mana aku sakit teruk tu kan.

Alkisahnya... lepas doktor2 cek perut aku, aku ada bengkak kat perut aku..mmg la dia sakit je kan. So aku diberikan ubat surut bengkak n cuti 3 hari. Alhamdulillah semua nya ok. Aku da semakin sihat. Masa bulan puasa tu, aku tak puasa 2 minggu sebab nak kasi perut aku kuat bebetol. Mmg betul lah sume tilikan psl aku, aku mmg mepunyai mslh perut. hee.

bagusnya, selepas aku sakit. Banyak bende yang berubah. Antaranya, aku da berhenti merokok. Dan minum. Dan sebagainya. Sebab sakit yang melampau tu jugak aku semakin banyak bersabar dan lebih banyak mengingati Allah Swt. Alhamdulillah. Hee.

Kerja dan aku semakin bermasalah, Aku semakin demotivated. Mmg takleh tolong. But me being me, demotivate mcm mana or mls mcm mana pun, aku ttp siapkan keje aku. Gda telah di post pone kan due to some internal problems in Astro. huuu... rugi2. aku ingat nak resign dah bulan ni. Tp sbb GDA da kansel, kena hold. Tapi aku da pergi few interviews. Mudah mudahan dapat la kan. Amin.

Ssh nak dapat keje zaman skrg ni. Aku tau tu. Jadi kalau korang tau mana mana yang tgh v=cr org maklumkan lah kat aku. The reason aku nak resign is the problem within the management people semakin horror n da mula melibatkan prestasi kompani to the client. 

hehe. Mungkin aku da bole start buat marketing. :)

sickness.

Its been a week aku sakit macam ni. Well keletihan extreme aku bermula lama dah. Just that aku gigihkan lagi badan ni. Start last Selasa aku rasa lemah sangat. Rasa cam takde tulang. Buat apa pun tak kena. 

Beban bertambah on wednesday bila aku start takleh makan dengan elok. Bila aku makan, rasa cam nak kuar balik. Sebab perasaan tu, aku jd kurang selera makan, tak makan banyak. Bila aku tak makan. ,macam biasa lah gastrik aku datang melawat. Huh seksa.

So haritu aku paksa jugak makan sebab aku nak buat event. so i need lots of energy. Bila perut aku start tak selesa sebab mcm tak nak terima the food, aku minum 100Plus. Ok perut aku mula selesa...ngam ngam sejam pastu datang penyakit lain. Dada aku sakit pulak. 

Memula sakit macam biasa, tetiba setiap kali aku tarik nafas aku sakit dada. OMG. Aku tahankan je. Aku ingat maybe air tu sejuk kot, dada aku tak tahan. So aku berkeras cari air panas, then decided untuk makan lagi sebab tgh hari tu aku tak habiskan food aku. Siapa sangka, things are getting worse. 

Aku tak boleh telan air. n food at all. Sebab setiap kali aku cuba nak telan rasa macam menghiris saluran pernafasan aku. Demm. Aku pk apa kena dengan aku ni. Macam macam plak. Tapi sebab aku cam ada konsert malam tu, so aku layankan je dulu. Aku pk takpe la mlm nnt aku cr la klinik yg 24 hours. Tapi alhamdulillah bila balik malam tu sakit aku kurang. So aku decide balik tdo. Penat poit.

Tapi sapa sangka, bila aku on the way balik ke KL, perut aku lapar, aku decide utk makan. And bila makan, bende yang sama occurs. Perut aku mula jem n tak nak accept food. Lebih teruk sbb aku hampir muntah. Terus aku benti makan dan beli air suam yg banyak. Aku bolayan kan dan terus drive. 

Bila sampai KL, dada aku start sakit, and aku tak boleh bernafas. Huish. Aku sampai semban aku terus baring, ingat kan kurang. Lagi parah ada. Dah baring tiap kali aku bangun pening. Tak tunggu lama terus aku g klinik. Jumpa doktor, dia cakap non explainable condition. So dia tak tau nak buat apa.

 

Adoi, bengong nye doc. So harini aku paksa je makan lagi. Perut masih tak mau menerima. Apa la... Aku tak tau nak buat apa lg ni. Nak tak nak terpaksa la aku tahan for now. Gila. Badan aku makin lemah sebab tak boleh makan. Aku terpaksa reschedule interview aku ke hari Rabu. Emm. Aku harap penyakit aku ni berkurang la. N mintak la sebab yang zahir je. Jangan la ada kes2 halus plak. Amin.

Today is Rabu.

Maka arini aku da start sibuk dengan event aku. Yang best nye bila ada cuti munggu sebelum ni ialah semua benda kita siap awal. Maknanya esok aku dah boleh ilek lek..tunggu duit keluar, pastu print out itinerary, program slots.. pastu balik!! hehehehe.. dah 2 minggu aku balik dr opis ngam ngam kul 5.30 ptg. kikikiki.

Gila lah aku semakin demotivated. Kerja banyak seyhh.. Dahla kawan seopis nak resign Lengan sapa la aku nak telek telek lepas ni. Sapa la nak ketuk pale dan marah aku sbb terlupa benda nnt. Haish. Bosan.

Tapi minggu ni g Jitra. Aku suka g sebelah Utara. The scenery were very breathtaking. Heehe.. Dan aku suke jugak sbb minggu ni aku akan dapat hadiah birthday kedua aku. Hehehe...

Ageggegege. Tak tau nak tulis apa dah. Bye.

THANK YOU ALL!

After a week, baru hari ni aku bukak blog. Terkejutt!!!

Marah betul orang tu kat aku. Rasanya baru beberapa kali je aku mengata dalam blog aku. And rasanya aku tak mengata, aku cakap benda yang betol. Mengata tu bila benda tu tak betol kan?? Or bende tu takde kena mengena dgn topik hidup kita..kan?? Atau mungkin kah orang tu adalah salah sorg dr org yg aku tuliskan.?? ded den

By the way.. untuk mereka yang menyokong aku.. 

TERIMA KASIH SANGAT SANGAT.. 

i appreciate it.. tak sangka ramai yg sanggup bersuara di belah pihak aku. THANK YOU SO MUCHH!!!

Tapi aku rasa, dr terus bermarahan, meh la aku maaf kan kau. Suke kau lah nak komen apa, n suke aku la nak tulis apa. Aku akan terus menulis, tapi kau akan terus membaca. Kira sbnrnya kau minat jugak la kisah hidup aku kan??

Haha. Walaupun english aku tunggang terbalik, dan aku pelat S, tapi aku tetap aku. Thanks kerana terus membaca.

And to all yang telah menyokong ku.. I wish you all the best. Akan ku terus meng update blog ini dgn kisah rapuan aku. hehe.

p/s: akan ikut nasihat anda semua... n thanks SIS.. ;)i'm glad you're still my sis.

Waw.

Waw. Nampak gayanya kita dah tak boleh tulis sesuka hati di blog sendiri sebab ada orang akan marah dan memberi komen komen yang tak puas hati. Its not wrong to bg advice but why dont in a correct way??

Takpe..this is my blog, if you feel dont like it then dont read it. There are thousands of blog yang penuh kekarutan di luar sana.

Easykan?

A hectic life.

Rehearsal sudah sampai ke penghujung nye. Sbb GSA da pun bermula kan. Tapi bila da makin dekat biasalah, rehearsal smakin mejd2 la...sampai kul 2 pun yer. Dah la aku sampai umah jam 3am..pastu nak mandi la apa la..haish. Now its over. Alhamdulillah.

Hasil selepas 2 minggu tdo kul 5pg and bgn pg untuk masuk opis??

Skrg aku sakit badan dan lenguh2. Belum dgn mata mcm panda...concealer cover baik punya... Nasib baik td kak cilek urutkan bdn. Lega rasa.

Emm..lega GSA da habis..sbb lepas ni da leh keje 9-5pm. Best.

Fazrozen br je aku hantar balik Palong. Alhamdulillah semuanya selamat. Sekarang dia duduk dgn mak dia. Eloklah tu.

Hmm. At this moment, I cant sleep. Sbb nye. Da tido kejap pastu terjaga. Haish. I am very frustrated with both of them. Kenapa ssh sangat manusia nak biarkan aku buat keputusan sendiri. Asal la dorg cam tak bole paham aku tak suka di paksa. Especially in this condition, where aku rasa aku nak be alone, and do watever i want. Nak tdo ke, makan ke, mati ke. I am so frustrated. One is gile2 babs giving all the attention, while the other one craving for attention. Damm.

Bukan aku tak kasihan. Tapi siapa yang kasihan kan aku? Aku yang terlalu letih dengan kerja sehinggakan tiada masa untuk beremosi. Aku hanya inginkan masa untuk diri aku. Tolongla faham yang aku penat. Too exhausted to think about the personal matters that keep burdening me without reasons. Sometimes i felt like i want to scream so that they will stop tailing me.

Penat dengan kerja, dengan isu di ofis, isu di rumah, di tambah perisa dengan pergaduhan tak bermotif telah mengubah segalanya. Sememangnya aku tetap aku. Bila terlalu pressure semuanya akan lari. Kerana itula aku tidak suka di paksa. Pasti sumenye tak menjadi.

I'm hurt. Setiap perkataan yang di baca macam sebatang jarum yg menyucuk kulit, setiap maklumat yg diketahui mcm pisau terus ke hati... Macam vakum aku rasa. Menyedut semuanya ke dlm bekas, and stuck there sampaila ada org bukak. Tapi mungkin aku nyer da rosak Dia terus terbang di bawa angin. Gile bermadah aku harini.

Dan seperti vakum udara. Aku rasa sangat Kosong. Dan aku sgt pasti ttgnye.

I just want you to understand, that when i felt empty, it means its empty. Theres nothing you can do. And i just want you to understand.. I just need to sleep. I just need to rest.. I just need space and time.

But you will never understand. I knew.

Me turning 25..

Hell yeah.. in few weeks..aku akan berumur 25 tahun.. Waw..cam can never imagine that I'm getting older. Hehe. Damn.. let see.. what i've changed...

1) Hmm..there's a change in career. I got paid for what i demand for, and i'm getting stable day by day. Eventho management cam problem sikit, but as long as i got paid, and aku mmg minat lah buat event ni kan..so ok la... But, i'm thinking about looking for a stable company which have better benefits and have their S.O.P. So nanti takde la hadap mslh2 remeh temeh kan. Sume ada black and white.

2) I quote " OMG, you were so young before, now you've grown up and matured" hehe..kata kata klien aku yang paling first, (yakni 3 years ago) Khairul Faizi dari Perbadanan Putrajaya selepas bertemu semula di FB.

3) Semakin ramai yang takkan berani nak lawan cakap dengan aku sbb aku sentiasa ada alasan dan jawapan kepada semua soalan atau tentangan. So sudahnye, betulkan aje. Meaning, I am better in mempertahankan diri sendiri. No more stab from the bak case.

4) Aku da dapat title Ratu dari kawan kawan sekolah. Haha! Sebab apa, sebab aku diva paling low profile katanya! Tak tau la celah mana yang diva la tuh.

5) Saiz badan..ahaha..i lost 3 kg in 2 months..but gain again after 3 weeks i handled the GSA rehearsals. What can i say, everytime i bought them food i will get hungry too. Hahaha.. But now i'm trying to lose the KG again before my birthday.

6) Semakin penyabar, and wiser in making decisions and handling situations. There is no more cakar, no more shouting, i'm being more feminine.(sometimes lah). PMS pun da takde da dlm hidup aku. Aderla..but no more PMS yang mengarut2 tu.

7) My skin is getting better. I never really had skin problems, except for dry skin, jeragat, and blackheads. I'm using Olay Total Effects now, and aku sgt berpuas hati!! Now aku da boleh kuar rumah without makeup, well, kalau pegi dedekat je la. Haha. What become my concern is my hair, sejak buat GDA, asik berjemur dan berhujan, my hair is getting dryer. Gugur tu tak yah cakap la. I colored my hair red last month, and its increase the problems. Haha. Serve me! So now sebok buat treatment and pakai hairmask selalu. Tapi bulan depan da turun site for GDA balik...haish!!

8) Da semakin bersederhana. Kalau dulu, semua nak gempak, and i worked hard to achieve and have everything. But when i met Arep, he told me that sometimes Allah bagi ujian yang besar terhadap umatNya yang terlalu bercita-cita tinggi. Itu masanya bila aku cam tersedar..and aku start mengslowkan everything. Alhamdulillah, i got wat i want..eventho its not perfect, but ok la... hehe. All the branded thingies that i crave for, tolak tepi. More to realistik skrg.

9) My first asset.. a MYVI..finally!!! After a long wait.. but still no stocks so i have to wait for another month.. hehe. Next target.. is to own a house.. my own house!! yeah! Hopefully I can achieve it by another year.

10) Dah tak boleh telan liquor dah... bagus tak?? Tapi party tetap pegi. That is one way to get out from my system.

That is what i remember so far. There is no change in love story.. but i dont care. As long as it goes with the flow, and i will leave it to ALLAH for the best. I'm happy this way. I'm happy that after quarter decades, I'm still being the old me. Even better. I'm happy i'm making my parent proud, and I'm happy for everything that i owned with my own usaha and titik peluh. Hehe.

May ALLAH bless me. Amin.

Tonsil.

Tekak aku sangat sakit. Kaki melecet. Hati pedih.

Nak telan air liur pun tak dapat. Pedih seyh. Mmg bertambah pelat ar aku.

Hmm. Perut pun buat hal. Tapi itu aku sendiri yang create hal tu.

Hati pun sakit. Terus risau. Lama pendam ni. Mengenali diri sendiri. Bila Venill semak sangat sudahnye dia buat keputusan yang gile. Camne?

Sume bende macam tonsil dah sekarang. Pedih dan sakit.

Aku ke yang create sume ni? Aku ke yang cari penyakit?

Crazee people everywhere.

Today is not a really busy day. Eventhough kitorg nyer event is like a week ahead je. But biasa lah..sume org chill. Bukan nye aku tak nak buat keje or aku tak nak tolong, but dah yg buat tu macam nak setelkan sume. Aku dok diam je la. Bila aku tanya dia cakap sume ok. Emm.

Harini aku turut meng-chase Ads4bucks for the payment. Basically, dorg ni cam da dinch us forever because of the events yg ala ala hancur haritu. Masa postmortem haritu mmg dorg ade point out beberapa problem. But the thing is, bukan sume salah kami yer. Please! Tapi biasa lah klien. Customer always right gitu. Bluerrghh!! Kau yang rasa kau hebat sangat nak kecoh2 plak.

Korang jangan tak tau yang GM dia da diresign kan sbb masalah event tu. Aku tak respon apa apa kepada sebarang berita yg di beritahu. And they keep saying things like, "korg yang ptt tanya kitorg, korg yg ptt update kitorg, korg yg patut cr kitorg." Well hello bitches, ader bende yg we need to update on our side we will update, but if it suppose to come from ur side, korg la kena update kitorg. How in the world that we going to know yg ader changes in the name list if u dont update us??

Tezz. They are so annoying. Dahla ader satu minah tu, nak berangin je keje dia. Kan da makan muke fak it aku. Mmg depan2 dia aku buat bitchy aku, especially bila dia tgh marah. Adoi. Ader kah sbb dorg ni dah kaya buat MLM, menyebabkan dorg ni rasa we all need to respect them like kings and queens while we are the khadam?? Stoopid.

So, when i called them today, they told me this:

"I'm sorry Cik Wanee, we had a meeting with our boss and he said he will leave all the payment to the lawyer. Our lawyer will contact you later."

Waw. I was, of course shocked!! Tapi aku dgn slumber nye pg meja boss and inform dia. Alahai. Keja senang da jadi susah. Nak sangat sue kenapa. Tak ke membazir duit semua tu. Bukan banyak pun ko kena bayar. 50k je kot. Ini la melayu punye minded kan.. Tak boleh la nak tolong sesama sendiri. Dodol.

Bos aku mesti la jem kan. Aku buat bodoh je. Tapi tak lama aku nyer buat bodo, bos aku dtg meja aku, bg satu fon number...

"Wanee, awak kol dia ni, ni kita punya lawyer. Awak give her all the information that she needs ok."

What???? adesss!!! Aku tak nak handle boleh tak?? Mana aku tau nak cakap apa. Aku tak nak masuk court lah weyh! Sah sah aku ni pelupe. Nanti kalau org tanya aku macam macam..camne aku nak jawab. Kang tak pasal2 angkat sumpah pastu menipu jugak. Bengong ah. Aku tak pernah jumpa client yang sebegini nye cara pk. Tapi aku jem sbb aku project manager event tu. Konfirm org akan cakap aku yg salah.

Tezz..sabar je la aku. By the way.. apa pun yang berlaku sekarang.. aku tak kisah..Stress macam mana pun tadi tak masuk kepala aku hari ini..yang penting, malam ni aku nak balik seremban..tak sabar!! ahahahha.

Happy Holiday ppl!!

Have you ever.

You had been searching for one thing for so long. Been trying so hard until you gave up and put a full stop towards your effort. And that is when you decided to let it be.

Suddenly, something unexpected happens. You were walking blankly on the street and something caught your eyes. And suddenly your blood is streaming excitedly in your veins and your heart beats were dancing to something that is not sure. So without doubt, you decided to choose that one eventho you knew that you had better before.

At one moment, you woke up in the middle of the night, you looked at it by the side of your bed, and wondering. Why do you choose this one. Why do you wasted on this one. You realize that you has no answer for every questions that you had in your mind.

And you were wondering are you regretting the decision that you had made.

But you were smiling..realizing that maybe it is for you. Maybe you should just let it be by the side of your bed. Keep it near to your heart to heal every pain that you had.

And you were happy enough to have it even though it is not the most expensive, the best quality, or the best thing that it will be.

And you wouldnt care as long as you are happy with it.

That is when you realize, no matter how much you wasted, how much you regret it, it will always be there. No matter how heartless and hurts that it has gave you, you will always let it be there.

That..what we called LOVE...wonderful..yet can be painful.

wat a cold morning.

with my cold heart as always. Sometimes i've been askin myself why do i have to feels this way. Why aku selalu ignoring things, neglecting people, and being complicated days by days. Why cant i just let it be? Why i cant make things less messy and make a smooth run? Hmm. But i believe that is just me. Sesuatu yang differentiate me and the rest of the girls in the world.

I do feels that i've been less complicated. That is what i thought lah.

Expectations. I woke up this morning with a very strange feeling this morning. Of course lah. Its 5.30 am and i am full awake. OMG. bukak tv and tgk Dom. Damn he's hot.

Hmm. Expectations. Aku salu pk yang aku tak dpt bf until now because i've been too choosy. Too fussy. But one person told me once, 'you will never get what you want, so why dont you start looking for what you need'..

I was stunned. And i do put some thought on that statement. But last2, aku tak buat apa apa pun. I decided to put every focus on my job. Because 18hrs after that I realize that I should start building my career and kumpul assets. Love comes and go baby. I had all the best people around me who had been supporting me through thick and thin. Maybe i should just appreciate that.

And since that on aku dah tak pk benda lain selain kerja. Kerja dan facebook.

Without realizing that I'm letting everyone down..and they had to let me go again.

Aku pernah menghabiskan masa 3hr di opis. Been not sleeping for more than 24hrs. And sumenye berbaloi. I've been promoted. But do i had enuf? of course not. Lots of things comes into my mind. i realize i need to do sumthing as back up. So i decided to find the opportunity in business. N then mummy came in and said, wani..u shud buy a house. Owh shit!

So aku pun terus membuat resume n hantar ke Telekom Malaysia. Mungkin not wat i wanted, but being me..as long as it worth it. So it is worth trying.

Apa saja yang Cik Jenab akan masuk kepala sekarang. Eventho sumtimes tak masuk akal. But, who else that i wud listen if its not her.

I'm still looking..or searching for the right path... Something that cud give me at least a bit of warmth in my heart. Its been cold for almost a year now. I gave up on love. Except for the love on my werks.

Apa la crap yang aku tulis kan. Tapi. That is what i felt di pg yg sejuk ni.

Ada pelbagai perasaan yang bercampur. Happy, emo, bahagia, serabut.

And now.. for everything that i've chased..the price that i have to pay.. Losing my only best-friend because he already hates me.

hmm.

I'm sorry baby.. I don't mean too.

Updating venill.

Waw. Lama tak tulis blog. Aku decided nak sambung tulis balik so that ader la antara kawan2 aku yang tau perkembangan hidup aku. Ni asal kol je bising aku tak update dorg. Asal kol je aku kena maki. Kesian aku.

Apparently, since aku berpindah keje, tugasan aku mcm menimbun. Lepas satu, satu. Adoi pening. Sama cam Capital, aku jugak buat pocket event kat sini. Mungkin mmg kepakaran aku buat set up last minit ni agaknye. Hehehe. Bezanya kat sini, aku terlibat dgn persediaan proposal... ha baru tau nak cari ayat2 yang letop untuk mennyiapkan proposal. Baru tau tak tdo mlm semata2 nak siapkan pitching. Lalala. But i love it. At least ader improvement la dalam hidup aku kan.

For now aku handle Astro Gda. But basically. aku baru je habiskan Ads4Bucks award night. Seriously that is my worst event. Aku tak tau mana puncanya. Pada aku dedua pihak pun salah. Dorg terlalu rely on us while we plak tak asks good questions. Damn. Takpe la. Da lepas kan. Cuma yang aku jem arini, tetibe plak org dorg nak tempik2 aku. Adus. Takleh cakap elok2 agaknye. Kuang hajaq!. Tapi biarla. Tak kemana pun org tu. Nak kurang ajar pun aku ttp better than u guys. So, fuck it.

Dr segi hidup aku plak, alhamdulillah. Dah boleh bernafas sikit. Masih meniti tangga, tapi aku da nampak perubahan nye. Semoga tahun ni akan diberkati dan di murah kan rezeki. Aku da banyak plan da nak buat tahun ni. Cuma nak organize kan dia je supaya ia berjalan di waktu yang sesuai dan seperti yang di rancang. Amin.

Aku rasa since new year hidup aku tak terurus. Dengan proposal yang tak putus, pastu event. Pastu siapkan another proposal, and now, preparing for GDA plak. waw. Sampai masa untuk diri sendiri pun takde. Aku mampu nak selitkan time utk family je. Jadi kawan2, harap maaflah ye.

By the way, aku da start belajar masak. Tak tau la kenapa, tapi cam minat plak memasak skrg. Ehehe. Lepas la aku masak sayur goreng. lalalala. Untuk behavior aku. Aku masih ada baran aku bila tgh buat keje. Tapi selebihnye aku masih gile. Berlebih gile pun mungkin. Orang kat opis aku ni pun bukan betul. Aku da takde PMS sakai yang boleh buat aku cakar orang tu. Ahahhaha. Good eh.

And selebihnya, jiwa aku semakin tenang. Expectation aku da tak terlalu tinggi, dan suprisingly bila kita tak put too much hopes, what you get will always be more than what u expected. Alhamdulillah. Dan aku semakin tersenyum. Hee. Personal plak, hmm..sama je. Masih membiarkan diri di cari orang instead of aku mencari org. Ehehe.

Ok ok. Da tak tau nak tulis apa lagi. Nanti aku update lagi yer. Habai!